From Wife to Sidechick: Woman Destroys Her Marriage, Regrets in pain shortly after

• Betrayal and Heartbreak: How One Woman's Choices Shattered Her Marriage
• A Tale of Love, Foolishness, Loss, and Regret

[earn] This mistake will never leave me alone, such foolishness is once in a lifetime, the magnitude of the consequences is such that my whole life alone cannot contain, my four children will have to bear it their whole life too, their own children will have a share in it. Oh, such a terrible mistake I have made! [earn]

I didn’t want to share it cos I kept telling myself a lie that I did the right thing, but then, by my own hands, I destroyed my happy home, buried my marriage, and ended up a side chick to the man who legitimately made me a mother of Vincent, Mary, Gloria and Kenneth. Jeff was everything a father should be to them. The children had a lovely dad, I had a sweet husband who never failed to provide for his household.

[earn] Dear Vero, thank you for all the teaching and influence you had on me on the topic of husband control and being a no-nonsense wife that tolerate cheating. I totally experimented it and the result is that my status in Jeff’s life changed from “Wife” to “Side chick” whom she cheats on his new wife “Rachel” with. [earn]

I suspected Jeff of cheating and confronted him sometimes, and he denies it all the time. One Sunday evening, after we returned from church service early in the afternoon, Jeff went to the bedroom to take a nap because he was feeling dizzy having woken up so early to prepare the children for church while I took care of breakfast, so while he was asleep, I took his phone from the center table in the living room where he dropped it, tiptoed to the bedroom, scanned his face to which the face lock quickly opened because he was facing the ceiling while his back was on the bed. As I tiptoed back to the living room firmly holding his unlocked phone and deliberately making one of my fingers to touch the screen to prevent if from locking due to inactivity, I jubilated inside me as one that has just won a lottery.

I quickly opened to settings, clicked Display on Jeff’s android phone, changed the screen time out to 30 minutes, at least that is enough time to destroy a marriage and a happy home. So, I sat on the three-seater armchair in the living room, lay my legs on it while resting on its fluffy backrest with Jeffs’ phone, receiving the most clicks per second it probably has ever received. [earn]

I dug into Jeff’s social media chats and messages within minutes, targeting female looking accounts he has chatted with consistently. I found several of those but two were consistent across all his social media accounts. After 10 minutes of exploring, I had clear evidence Jeff had cheated on me at least with two different women at different times.

Trying to look further, he woke up, called on Vincent to get his phone to which I responded “Its with me Jeff and its over”. I confronted him with so strong an energy that could cause even a giant to shrink in fear, he was dumbfounded at first, then began to confess and plead for forgiveness, how I wish I listened to anything he said. [earn]

I packed my belongings and that of our four children and left the house for my parent’s. Jeff located us in just one hour, pleading. I was adamant, it was the only opportunity I could apply the “good” advice from the fellow women who strongly kicked against tolerating any man that cheats.

The following week, my lawyers served Jeff our divorce papers. On realizing I am made up, Jeff stopped pleading, signed the divorce papers at the end of a two-days heated arguments on issues about custody of the children, which I won for our 4 children.

PT. 4

A week after, as a single mother of four, reality started setting in, Jeff always prepares the children for school if he senses that I would wake up late especially if I had gone to bed late the previous night. But now, that is exclusively my duty irrespective of whether Ive had enough sleep or not. The second week was hell, I missed Jeff. Financial challenges started coming in, l not only felt lonely but desperate.

Out of my desperate desire for masculine touch, I started dating whosoever I could find and they all came in flocks, and left in droves. Of course, who would ever assume the responsibility of four kids he doesn’t own?

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Four months after our divorce and visiting the kids once, Jeff got married to Rachel. I was not only devastated but ashamed. As I started dating many married men, all of them made one thing very clear, that they respect their wives, hence, only them can make contacts with me. At this point, I realized a cheating husband has not committed capital sin punishable by burying ones’ marriage blessed with 4 kids, my regret got worse.

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After two years, 36years old me looked like my future self at golden jubilee, imagining how Jeff may be cuddling with 27-year-old but looking sixteen Rachel and their one-year-old son in what used to be my bedroom. As I couldn’t take it anymore, I phoned Jeff. Surprisingly, he showed up. He reminded me he is married, and whatever may happen between us can at best be temporal, short-lived and confidential. Of course he did occasionally send in support for the kids. I became his side chick and he wasn’t tired making me feel a bit of love, but then, keeps reminding me he cannot hate the mother of his children.

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While on bed with Jeff on one of his secret visits on a Friday evening while returning from work, Rachel phoned. Jeff, who was not only terrified but frightened as one just bitten by a serpent and afraid of his life ending within minutes of snake poison spreading, Jeff warned me with so much intensity to not make any feminine sound to prevent his new wife suspecting him of cheating. A minute after ending the call, Jeff was already in his car, navigating his way towards Rachel, then it dawns on me that I have not just destroyed and buried my happy home and marriage, I have successfully demoted myself from the exalted office of the “wife” to the shameful office of the “side chick”. I am scared of what my children will tell their children about why their grandmother is such a loser.

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